Archive for July, 2006

Deeds, Not Words

July 31, 2006

Today is as good a day as any to remember William Shockley.

If you are reading this, thank William Shockley.  He invented the silicon transistor.  He and two colleagues won the Nobel Prize for their work in 1956.  He is known as the man who brought silicon to Silicon Valley.

He was also a prick.  Shockley’s management style was characterized as "domineering and increasingly paranoid."  His children couldn’t stand him and found out he was dead from reading the newspaper.  He ran off several of his genius employees at Shockley Semiconductor Laboratories.  These employees went on to start companies like Intel.  The computer you are using, the internets you are browsing and the blogs you reading are all direct offshoots of the work of William Shockley.

He later got into teaching at Stanford.  Though his specialty was to be electric engineering, he got in neck deep over his views on race and the origins of human intelligence. In 1963 he gave a speech at Gustavus Adolphus College in Minnesota suggesting that the people least competent to survive in the world were the ones reproducing the fastest, while the best of the human population was using birth control and having fewer children.  He may not have been wrong.

He noted that intelligence research showed a genetic factor in intelligence and that tests for IQ indicate that African Americans have an average IQ 15 points lower than the population average.  The question should have been what do the IQ tests really measure and does it really matter?

Shockley believed that the higher rate of reproduction among African Americans was having a "dysgenic" effect, and expressed an interest in eugenics. He thought this work was important to the genetic future of the population, and came to describe it as the most important work of his career, even though it ruined his reputation.  Shockley also proposed that individuals with IQs below 100 be paid to undergo voluntary sterilization.  Try to keep in mind, eugenics attained a scientific consensus comprable to global warming at one point in our history.

Shockley soon found out that Godwin’s Law came into being long before his grandchild, the Internet.  Any mention of eugenics, and then within the next sentence somebody would mention the Nazis, and that ended any intelligent conversation.

So, in memory of a guy whose genius was outstripped by his madness,  I’ll pour a wee dram and put Braveheart on the machine that plays movies, thanks to William Shockey.   After maybe two or three drams, I’ll start to wonder if people will boycott Shockey’s work, too.

 

 

Lazy Saturday Post

July 29, 2006

Cup of Joe is working it over at NiT.  He’s got a post about the movie Nashville.  I rewatched it the other night and planned a big post about athe relevance of Altman’s high water mark today.  Does the movie hold up thirty years later?  Is it an patronizing hipster look at our fair city or an honest, yet satirical look at post-Watergate America?  Now, thanks to Joe, that’s one less post that I have to write.

Monty Python/Star Trek Mash-Up over at All Along The Watchtower.

Senate Primary Predictions over at The Staggering Prophets

Time for a lazy Saturday nap. 

This Play Has Everything!

July 28, 2006

Finally, a play that  I can whole-heartedly recommend:  Evil Dead:  The Musical.

US Army is getting rid of gay Arabic language specialists in another well-thought out policy that in no way puts religious dumbassery ahead of military necessity. 

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix and making wildly uninformed predictions at Staggering Prophets.

The Greatest Generation was a bunch of potty-mouths.  To paraphrase Colonel Kurtz, "They train young men to drop fire on people. But the FCC won’t let them say fuck on PBS, because it’s obscene!"  Thanks again Janet Jackson and Religious Dumbasses!

Stay Classy Nashville.  Anchorman:  The Legend of Chris Clark

 

Yet Another Reason To Watch ‘Imus In The Morning’

July 27, 2006

This somewhat backs up my thesis that Katie Couric will be a success on the Evening News when morons and mouth-breathing housewives start watching the Evening News.

Instead of wasting your time with the chat show idiots, watch Imus.

Whatever you do, avoid the idiots on Fox and Friends like a puddle of AIDS.

Hollywood Minute!

July 26, 2006

Lance Bass is gay.  Isn’t just being in a boy band make the first sentence redundant?

Mo’Nique wants to boycott United Airlines.  I thought all black folks flew on Soul Plane

A well reasoned call for retooling our celebrity system. 

Allegedly Racist Frito Bandito commercial.  Didn’t they have Frito Bandito pencil erasers for kids back in the seventies?  Yes, of course they did! 

There is no crying in baseball!  ESPN’s Harold Reynolds fired for sexual harrassment. 

If you are a bat-shit crazy Christian woman and want to murder your children, do it in Texas.  Expect a Lifetime Movie in the very near future.

 

Another Satisfied Customer

July 26, 2006


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The Big Store

July 26, 2006

Cory Doctorow wrote a review of  The Big Con by David Maurer.  This excellent work was originally published in 1940, but has been reissued recently to much acclaim.  The book, most famously, was used as the inspiration for the film The Sting.  In his review, Doctorow asks, "The question I’m left with, having finished this, is where is the big con today?"

I received an email the other day from a headhunter firm.  They wanted to meet me for an interview.  Immediately, I was dubious.  Once I had made contact with them and dealt with their appointment setter, I remained dubious.  But, in the name of having an interesting blog entry, I went to the interview.  What I didn’t do is some due diligence research beforehand.

 Maurer writes  "Con men, following trends current in the legitimate world, have employed techniques very similar to those used by big business …"

When I got to the interview, I should have walked out of the office and never looked back. The office is in Maryland Farms.  The overhead for that place was pretty steep.  They were hauling in money from some source in order to make that nut.  Plus, the fake-ass fireplace blazing away in July can’t be cheap.  Playing softly in the waiting room was the soothing tunes of 94FM The Fish .  Christian music safe for the whole family and on-air personalities who truck in kiddie porn should have helped make the connection to the warning siren going off in my brain.

 The interview itself was fairly standard.  There were, however, some glaring deviations from the norm.  The interviewer employed some sales/interrogation techniques with questions about my financial condition and home life.  She then attempted the exclusivity ploy, by stating that they don’t work with just anyone.  I accidentally showed my hole cards when she asked me about Interrogation.  I laughingly blurted out, "It is a lot like this."  A look of worry crossed her face as she considered the possibility that I was on to the game.

She wrapped up the interview by telling me I would need to come back for a chat with a closer Senior Partner and that I would have to bring Sugar Momma.   It took about two seconds to figure that one out.  The potential mark prospect can’t play the "I should talk to my signifigant other before handing over my life savings to you in exchange for  a new resume and a job I could have found in the paper" excuse if she is sitting right there.  Much like the time share salesman, they want both of you there in order to overcome any objections.

I left with the gut feeling that this was another version of the Big Store.   Once home, I found that my reservations were damn well justified.  Turns out they used to be called Bernard Haldane, and are well known for this quasi-legal scam.  Here is one lucky soul’s account

Here’s where it gets fun.  I ask you, dear readers, do I waste another trip down to Brentwood in my dapper little monkey suit to screw with these people a little?  I kind of want to, but value my free time too much to waste on these assholes. 

This Week’s Guilty Pleasures

July 25, 2006

Teresa Weakley

Megan McCormick from Globe Trekker

Jolene from the Nashville Dodge ads

Monica Crowley

Kaitlin Olson 

Molotov Cocktease 

 

I need to stop watching so much television. 

 

The Play’s The Thing…

July 23, 2006

…Or How LL Cool J Died For My Sins.

Friday night I went with B and her peeps (which I’m led to believe means something like entourage or coterie) to see faith/doubt at the Darkhorse Theater.  I’ll get to that in a moment.

Saturday morning, I left early for Cookeville.  There was a Little League tourney there, and a certain eight-year old demanded the presence of my dog, and by extension, me.  As I went to the bathroom one last time before heading out (because the dog would have mocked me for not going before we left), something in the back of my head said, "That toilet is going to run all weekend."

Most of the tournament was cancelled due to the wet weather.  We had to cool our heels all day at the spacious Cookeville Holidome waiting for an update on the condition of the fields.  The games wound up cancelled until Sunday.  As I woke up this morning, I said, "I had the weirdest dream.  I dreamt that the toilet wouldn’t stop running and I’m trying to explain to my ex-wife why."  I’m sure she showed up in the dream because she got married yesterday.  I’m almost positive she was wearing a wedding dress while I  explained the inner workings of the toilet in the dream.  But that’s not really important.

I got home today after a crushing loss to the other eight-year olds and the boring hour plus drive from Cookeville around noon.   I walk into my house and wouldn’t you know, the goddamn toilet is still running. 

Here’s where it ties into the play.  If you read that story, and your explanation has something to do with a deity or invisible best friend sending me signs that my water bill was going to be high this month, you may want to check out faith/doubt.  If you read that story and thought, "Sarcastro must have subconsciously known that the flapper isn’t sitting on the flush valve seat, probably because the chain coming off the float rod isn’t the proper length.  He knows the sound that the tank makes when filling, and it must have struck a chord that this sound wasn’t right.  His attention was fixed on getting on the road and the tournament. That little toilet clue started blinking red in the back of his brain for the next 24 hours until he got home and realized what he was trying to tell himself.", you still should check the play out.

Sure, it isn’t as short an answer, but it is more probable.

The other reviews of faith/doubt have been mostly positive.  I must concur.  My impression of it was mostly positive.  Nothing gets me out of the house to see lee-gita-mitt thee-ater like hearing people onstage saying the words that came out of my brain.   I’m a narcissist like that.

I was concerned that the play would come off like a bunch of Unitarians putting on Godspell.  There are definitely some parts that might make that comparison come to mind.  There are one or two moments that really flirt with the edge of cheesiness.  Dressing up the Host as a shaman/savior-type comes to mind.  I really wish he would have burst into Mama Said Knock You Out, to lighten the mood.

The one scene that really needs to go, is The Deity Game.  It doesn’t work and comes off like one of the "B" sketches on Saturday Night Live that come on after Weekend Update.  It makes the entire piece lose focus and turns out a little too jokey.  Only by the time the play gets to Epiphanies, does it regain the focus of the earlier part of the play.  There are one or two other Guffman moments, but nothing that ruins the play overall.

Here’s a litmus test, if you think that the phrase "honor all paths and recognize the sacredness in every journey" is meaningless crap, then this play isn’t for you.  Or maybe it is.  I think it is a meaningless crap aphorism and still liked the play.

Yes, that probably wasn’t very nice to be critical of the play and I will go to Hell for it.  Sartre got it wrong, though.  Hell isn’t necessarily other people.  Hell is the other people at the Cookeville Golden Corral.

 

“I’ve Never Heard of Diabetes Causing Foul Language.”

July 22, 2006

The great character actor, Jack Warden, has passed away at the age of 85.  There have been times watching movies on cable, when he’s been on every damn channel.

You may have seen him in:

12 Angry Men
Darby’s Rangers
Run Silent, Run Deep

Two episodes of The Twilight Zone
Brian’s Song
Shampoo
All The President’s Men
Heaven Can Wait

The TV version of The Bad News Bears
…And Justice For All
Being There
Used Cars
(He played two roles in Used Cars, one of the greatest films of our time.)
Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead

More importantly,

He was a prize fighter who fought on the same card as Charles Durning in Madison Square Garden, he was in the Yangtze River Patrol and spent three years in China during the late thirties-early forties, a Merchant Marine, an Army paratrooper with the 101st Airborne, and saw action at the Battle of The Bulge

That’s a life worth living.