Archive for the ‘Separated At Birth’ Category

I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing

April 19, 2008

The Pope of Rome was stateside for couple of days. He expressed regret about the priest abuse scandals and formally apologized for the Death Star blowing up Alderaan.

The New York Times showed that they at least have a sense of humor by proving that a picture is not only worth a thousand words, but it also goes well with wacky headlines. Somewhere a NYT editor is chuckling to himself, “This will TOTALLY make the Leno show!”

In a completely unrelated story, Roger Ebert is going in for more surgery.

Mystery Solved!

February 21, 2007

anna_clown_fox.jpg

There are new allegations regarding the paternity of Anna Nicole Smith’s child. Sources close to the late, gold digging freak-show claim that serial killer John Wayne Gacy is the father of Anna Nicole’s bastard kid.

Mr. Gacy could not be reached for comment as he’s deader than J. Howard Marshall. Or at least deader than Daniel Smith.

johnwaynegacy.jpg

Ms. Smith’s parasitic appendage, Howard K. Smith denied any involvement his client/wife/captive may have had with the deceased murderer, except to say they were prison pen pals, with benefits. Currently, Mr. Stern is embroiled in a legal battle to not only determine custody of young Dannielynn, but also over the disposition of Ms. Smith’s remains.

“I know Anna’s wish was to be buried in the crawlspace of the house alongside her son Danny,” Mr. Stern announced from behind a giant pile of cocaine and hookers. “Of course, she was so batshit crazy, anything is possible.”

enemy1.jpg

An attorney for the Gacy estate, Mr. Penny Wise, issued a terse statement demanding a paternity test in order to clear his client’s good name.

More Fun With Mugshots!

January 19, 2006

Self-professed serial killer Dennis Rader AKA BTK Killer

PG-Dennis-Rader-mugshot.jpg 

 

 

 

 

 

 And, self-obsessed 70’s Tiger Beat coverboy Leif Garrett AKA KFC Employee

leifgarretmugshot.jpg 

 

 

 

 

 

Poisonous Look-Alike

October 10, 2005

ellroy1.jpg"America was never innocent. We popped our cherry on the boat over and looked back with no regrets. You can’t ascribe our fall from grace to any single event or set of circumstances. You can’t lose what you lacked at conception."—James Ellroy, American Tabloid

 

 

 

 

 

180px-Mohamed_el-Baradei.jpg "We must abandon the unworkable notion that it is morally reprehensible for some countries to pursue weapons of mass destruction, yet morally acceptable for others to rely on them for security – and indeed to continue to refine their capacities and postulate plans for their use."  Mohammed Elbaradei, Nobel Prize Winner For Naivete

It’s nice to be nice…to the nice

July 20, 2005

frank-burns-sized.jpgNo one has yet brought up the eerie resemblance between Major Frank Burns and…

roberto…Supreme Court Nominee John Roberts.

Now, Alan Alda will definitely oppose this nomination.