Better To Burn Out Than Fade Away

December 28, 2008 by

Evolve or die. At least that’s what they tell the kids in church. Ok, maybe not at your Church, LLC.  Priorities around here are shifting. Effective immediately, this blog will cease operation due to insufficient spare time and general apathy. And as an unfortunate effect of the shitty economic climate, we’re going to have to let some of you go. Operations will continue at other online social media thingamajigs. There will be no severance package.

Except for this.

So long, suckers.

Everyone Look Buusy!

December 16, 2008 by

The best part of this:  Misspelled on both sides.


Lucky Shot

December 15, 2008 by

Howzabout some privacy?

Dear Mr. President-Elect

December 9, 2008 by

It has come to my attention through various new media sources that you may be searching for a new speechwriter.

Let me tell ya, I’m all about that Hope shit. Faith, Charity and the rest of those chicks are cool, too.

Enclosed is a photo and resume detailing my qualifications.Check out these Yes We Cans!

I’ve Got A Jolly Roger

December 5, 2008 by

Here’s to the resurgence of piracy around the world proving that global warming is a hoax.

The Definition of Irony

November 30, 2008 by

Disney Accused by Catholic Cleric of Corrupting Children’s Minds

Evidently, the church doesn’t like the competition.

Pardon the phrase but, HOLY SHIT! That’s some funny stuff. Especially coming off a week of truly staggering stupid blather coming from the religious types.

To wit:

Vatican Forgives John Lennon

Thanksgiving Must Suck for Atheists

Pretty sure there was more. Can’t spend all day shooting Jesus fish in their barrel-like habitat. But, you know, help yourself.

Music for Our Times

November 28, 2008 by

Please remember that today you need to spend a lot of money that you don’t have in order to save our economy.

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Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner

November 27, 2008 by

It’s a great day in post-racial America. The usual eye-rollingly dull Thanksgiving at the in-laws in going to be a little more interesting this year. This may wind up as a superior Thanksgiving post than previous efforts.

Instead of just deadbeat brother-in-law and in the midst of a divorce sister-in-law showing up, we have the added treat of my wife’s niece bringing her boyfriend.

He’s (looks around, stage whispers) BLACK!*

My wife’s family is not what anyone could charitably describe as “progressive”.  We will see just how well the facade of civility is maintained over the next couple of hours. In all honesty, I expect everyone will be on their best behavior.

A little background: Mrs Sarcastro has known about this for quite a while and was the one who broke the news to the rest of her family. My mother-in-law’s reaction was the best. It sums up her Always Look On The Bright Side worldview. After being informed of not only the boyfriend, but of the real possibilty of having a cute little bi-racial grandchild one day, the MiL’s reaction was,

“Well, I guess he could be President one day.”

Stay tuned…

UPDATED: Boring. Not only was the meal bland so was the niece’s boyfriend. Poor kid barely said a word. For the most part this can be attributed to the niece’s father, the aforementioned deadbeat brother-in-law. He’s in his forties and met some 24 yr. old babe about two weeks ago. As is his usual mode at family gatherings, all conversation and attention must be focused on him. So, in front of his children, he went on and on about how hot this sweet young thing with the fake rack is and how he’s never been happier. Stay classy, deadbeat.

Did I mention how flavorless the food was?

*This is an in-joke. I was at the home of a parent of a prominent local politician who held forth on the state of things in Greater Antioch by proclaiming, “Antioch was real nice before all of the (looks around and whispers) “Blacks” moved here.”

He was standing in his own living room when he made the statement.  I’m not sure if he was worried that some black folks may have inadvertently wandered into his home and could be eavesdropping so that’s why he was trying to be discreet. Better safe than sorry, I guess.

Thanks For the Ticket, Jerks

November 14, 2008 by

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As Appropriate As Anything

November 7, 2008 by

Buck up, crybabies. As for the rest of you, be careful what you wish for.

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