Mystery Solved!

by

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There are new allegations regarding the paternity of Anna Nicole Smith’s child. Sources close to the late, gold digging freak-show claim that serial killer John Wayne Gacy is the father of Anna Nicole’s bastard kid.

Mr. Gacy could not be reached for comment as he’s deader than J. Howard Marshall. Or at least deader than Daniel Smith.

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Ms. Smith’s parasitic appendage, Howard K. Smith denied any involvement his client/wife/captive may have had with the deceased murderer, except to say they were prison pen pals, with benefits. Currently, Mr. Stern is embroiled in a legal battle to not only determine custody of young Dannielynn, but also over the disposition of Ms. Smith’s remains.

“I know Anna’s wish was to be buried in the crawlspace of the house alongside her son Danny,” Mr. Stern announced from behind a giant pile of cocaine and hookers. “Of course, she was so batshit crazy, anything is possible.”

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An attorney for the Gacy estate, Mr. Penny Wise, issued a terse statement demanding a paternity test in order to clear his client’s good name.

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9 Responses to “Mystery Solved!”

  1. W Says:

    It’s the pinnacle of success for a gold digger when she acquires a gold digging leach of her own.

  2. Sarcastro Says:

    It’s the circle of life, Simba.

  3. Katherine Coble Says:

    ::whimpers::

  4. LLA Says:

    I know it’s probably bad of me to find any humor in the tragic train-wreck that was Anna Nicole….That having been said, this made me laugh so freakin’ much that I think I wet myself a little…

  5. Ava Says:

    You are sick people……what is so funy about someone tragic life???…..do you have any better,…life???? and if you do just enjoy and go on with that….I dont look to other people’s life to make myself better……maeby is that what you do when you search for other’s people tragedy!!!!Have just a little ” Dignity “………..

    • Spectre Says:

      trust me, it’s fookin hillarious. She lived like a parasitic organism and was eventually killed off by another parasite. And of course our legal system is so fukt up you could shoot a nun in the middle of mardi gras and say the gremlins made me do it and i’d get off with parole and a movie deal.

  6. Sarcastro Says:

    No, Ava. I guess I don’t have a life. If by life you mean cranking out comments full of manufactured outrage on a blog post that is over a year old. I’m sorry that cruising the depths of the internet trying to find things to get upset about isn’t one of the many things I should be doing with my time.

    Thanks for the “life” lesson. Now get back to ratting out your Jewish neighbors who are hiding in the attic.

  7. kyler Says:

    u suck

  8. pinterest Says:

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    I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any helpful hints for first-time blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

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