Archive for the ‘Please!’ Category

Get Me A Bottle Of Naive

July 7, 2007

Here’s the deal Hollywood, I’ll stop idling my car at intersections when you stop making Fast and the Furious movies. Other than appealing to the booger-eating moron and Asian kid demographic, they have no reason to exist. I’ll compare my carbon footprint with one of your $100 million crapfests any day of the damn week.

Does this tunic make me look fat?Speaking of Hollywood crapfests, Jor-El is having his idiotic concertapalooza today. Never mind the hypocrisy and pointlessness of the entire affair. What intrigues me is his handling of Jor-El III’s arrest and subsequent entry into rehab.

What’s more important to you? Your kid got pinched for winding a Prius up to its theoretical limit or a dumb concert that you are putting on? John Ridley (who, by the way, is making MSNBC watchable in the a.m. again) brings up an inconvenient truth about Jor-El’s priorities. Short version, if you can’t save your kid, how can you save the world? What are you saving the world for, if not for your kids?

There will be plenty of bottled water on hand, I’m sure. What is a celebrity without a ubiquitous bottle of Evian. Oops, bottled water is bad for the planet. Hey, don’t throw away that bottle of water! That’s even worse. Buy some carbon offsets and I’m sure it will all come out in the wash. Remember, Evian spelled backwards is “Naive”.

As far as this heat wave and drought this summer across our nation, why is it that the drumbeat is about how Global Warming¬† is to blame? When it was cold and a blizzard shut down a Climate Change conference, the same know-it-alls said, “Don’t confuse weather with climate.”

Well, right back-atcha, sport.

Now excuse me, I have to go fill my pick-up with evil gasoline.