In Case of Imminent Election Loss…

by

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2008
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT:
ANITA WYNN-BADD (202)224-2670
HOLLY N. LYKE-LEE (202)224-7130

MCCAIN-PALIN TO SPEND CAMPAIGN SAVING MAIN STREET

WASHINGTON D.C.–Republican Presidential nominee John McCain announced today that he and Vice-Presidential nominee Sarah Palin are focusing their efforts on fixing the current financial crisis one family at a time.

“Unlike my opponent who is worried about bailing out his Wall Street buddies, Governor Palin and I will be traveling to Ohio, Pennsylvania and several other swing states hit hard with this financial mess that was brought down on them by the Democratic Congress.”

“Effective immediately, we will be pulling all of our television spots off the air and using that money to help homeowners who are facing foreclosure. Senator Obama is spending a record $190 million on campaign ads in the run up to the election. Governor Palin and I have decided that our advertising money would be better spent trying to help working Americans.”

“Beginning tonight and every night for the next two weeks, America’s Money Makeover will be broadcast on the FOX television network.  (8 Eastern/7 Central.) Each night, we will pick a deserving family from the thousands of registered voters in swing states letters and video tapes we have received. That family will get a visit from the Money Makeover Team and their lives will be turned around.”

“Our team consists of not only Governor Palin and myself, but nationally syndicated radio host and financial counselor Dave Ramsey, The View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck and minority to be named later.  Maybe Cowboy Troy or Don King.”

“We plan on using our combined expertise to help resolve outstanding debts, restructure or refinance troubled mortgages, help the family set up a budget and retirement plan to keep them from fucking up the economy set them on the path towards financial stability. With about $80 million left to spend, we can help about 1500 American families achieve their dreams of being out from under the boot heel of Wall Street speculators, Jew Bankers, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and market forces beyond their understanding. ”

“Now my friends, I don’t care who you vote for in the election. Win or lose we plan on doing this long after election until the campaign money runs out. Help is on the way. The Straight Talk Express is heading for a battleground state small-town near you!”

If you would like to be one of the families John McCain and Sarah Palin are going to save from financial ruin, please contact your local Republican party headquarters.  Please bring an 8×10 photo of your home, a copy of your credit report, six months of bank statements and a sob story.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: