Spoiler Alert: The End is Nigh

by

Let me save you some valuable time. Instead of fretting about the upcoming presidential election and wasting precious hours of your life watching pre-debate coverage, post-debate coverage, internet chatter and, god-forbid–actual debates. Here’s how it is going to shake out come November.  Conduct yourselves accordingly.

Obama–289 Electoral Votes

McCain–249 Electoral Votes

Republicans, this is the BEST case scenario. Worst case is the financial meltdown continues and the country as a whole buys into Obama’s promise of magical prosperity spun from empty rhetoric.  If that happens, McCain will be lucky to carry Arizona.

You may now resume your previously scheduled stockpiling of shotgun shells and canned goods.

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7 Responses to “Spoiler Alert: The End is Nigh”

  1. Lee Says:

    Same red/blue map as ’04, but NH goes McCain while Colorado and Ohio goes Obama?

    Possible. But under your scenario, if everything remains the same, except Ohio stay red, then you have 269 to 269, and an electoral tie.

    And that’s when I stock up on canned goods and batteries.

  2. peptodismal Says:

    If Palin would walk out tonight in an orange pantsuit and a short blonde wig, this could swing around. On the other side, the clothes have no emperor.

  3. Katherine Coble Says:

    Obama’s promise of magical prosperity spun from empty rhetoric

    Exactly.

  4. Roger Abramson Says:

    They’re both flopping. When that happens, the default candidate wins. Which, in this climate, is the Democrat.

    The only thing to watch out for is John McCain’s patented zombie impersonation. He’s got closing game. But with all of this early votng available out here, who knows if that will be enough?

    Saith Churchill: “Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.”

    McCain died politically about 20 times thus far.

  5. Christian Says:

    Does this mean you’re moving to Canada?

  6. Sarcastro Says:

    I defer to recent Obama convert Christopher Buckley quoting Madison in the Federalist Papers, “Hand over the tiller of governance, that others may fuck things up for a change.”

  7. Christian Says:

    I think it’s fair to conclude we can now see the bottom of America’s trust in conservative fiscal and foreign policy as practiced over the last 8 years under their party’s leader President George W. Bush and the six years of Republican Congressional leadership where he never touched the veto pen.

    America need look no further back in time than the 1990s to know what the tiller of governance would turn in the hands of Democrats. It’s a matter of historic record just as the past 8 years will forever remind us what we get when we trust any party whose allegence shifts away from that of the American people.

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