Death From Above


The squirrels have declared war on the Hu-Mans. Or at least on the ones living in my house. We have some huge hickory trees in our backyard. They provide a much needed canopy of shade over the house. The big one is such a giving tree that I may chop it down and make a canoe. Normally, the nuts fall in the backyard without much fanfare.

Lately, this has taken a more sinister turn. A platoon of squirrels have taken up residence in the trees and have been showering us with half eaten hickory nuts. This morning, I looked out in the backyard and it looked like a hail storm. It’s raining nuts. Hallelujah.

They seem to take particular delight in pelting Mrs. Sarcastro with their half-eaten food source while she’s sneaking a cigarette enjoying the tranquil beauty of suburban living on the patio.

She is not amused. McSquizzy has made himself a powerful enemy.


4 Responses to “Death From Above”

  1. Lesley Says:

    I have a walnut tree. Do you think I’ve ever eaten a fucking walnut from it? It’s raining partially eaten nuts here, though. My deck is not safe, either. Yeah, that late freeze last year sucked; few things bloomed and some things died altogether. But it was sure nice to have a year without walnuts.

  2. Lynnster Says:

    I’ve got a walnut tree too. The squirrels have been bombing the dogs with the nuts for years. I swear their aim is dead on.

  3. Freaky Weasel Says:

    Don’t you have young boys running around? Sounds like a couple of BB guns are in the answer to your problem.

    Dollar a pelt…that’s good money for a lad, and may even make up for the subsequent vision loss.

    Boys will be boys after all.

  4. jim voorhies Says:

    I have a small patch of weeds in the far back corner of the property where I toss their lifeless bodies once they get in range of the 410. So far, this strategy works well, but it may be more rural here.

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