Reclaiming My Past


The last battlefield domicile that the former Mrs. Sarcastro and I shared had a basement that flooded on a regular basis.  We were completely unaware of how bad it could get when we first moved in.  Being as mentioned unaware, we put boxes of stuff in the basement.  Boxes of stuff that had no business being there.  One of those boxes contained my yearbooks from middle school through college.

Shortly after the Treaty of Versailles was signed, I showed up to get some more of my possessions.  I found that box to be completely waterlogged and the books therein to be ruined beyond any hope.  Black mold had settled in as well as the water damage.  All those memories went into the trash.

It is problematic enough for me that the years 1985-1989 are  kind of a hazy blur.  You know when you wake up after a vivid dream and as the day progresses, your recollection of the dream begins to fade until you no longer remember what the dream was about in the first place?  It’s a lot like that.  I no longer remember what was a dream and what was my waking life.   Let’s just say that drinking my way through college has yet to pay off.  My crippled brain cells need the stimuli that the pictures in the yearbooks provide in order to recall the damaged files that contain those memories.

This phenomenon first showed its ugly head soon after I got out of school.  Invariably it went like this:  I would run into a former school acquaintance at an Atlanta bar who would proceed to tell me a hilarious story (that invariable involved alcohol) about some legendary feat with me as the heroic protagonist.  I would nod and smile like I knew what he was talking about while wishing I could recollect any of the story in the first person.  Sadly, the time frame he was referring to would only be three or four years in the past.

It hasn’t gotten any better in the almost twenty years since.  Faces are unrecognizable to me at this point.  I went to a charity golf tournament in October 2001 and couldn’t recognize anyone.  Until someone walked up and introduced himself and the others at the table, they were complete strangers as far as I knew.

By complete dumb luck, I recently stumbled across a copy of my senior year* college yearbook.   It was on ebay for like 15 bucks.  I bid on that sucker and was prepared to fight it out with what turned out to be no one for it.

I was like a kid at Christmas with guilty parents who buy their children’s love when it finally arrived in the mail.   It still felt like a new yearbook.  No identifying marks showing that it once belonged to someone else.   I immediately went to the Seniors section to find my portrait.

Evidently, I forgot to show up for pictures that year.   I’m sure there is a good story that explains why.

*Not to be confused with the Super-Senior year which came right after that.  Seven years of college down the drain!


7 Responses to “Reclaiming My Past”

  1. Sarcastro's College One-Night Stand Says:

    I finally found you! Remember that wild night after that crazy frat party? Well, his name is Bruno and I need you to pay for his college.

  2. Sarcastro Says:

    You’re going to have to be more specific.

  3. Exador Says:

    If I’d known you’d stumbled into the Doddering old fool stage of life, I would have fucked with you more.

    Remember that time we got those Korean hookers?

    That’s where you get the seven!

  4. Sarcastro Says:

    What do you mean, if you had known? I can barely remember what you look like.

  5. The Fun Police Says:

    Mr. Sarcastro, we’re going to need a fingerprint sample, DNA sample. urine sample, fecal sample, and vomit sample.

  6. David A. Andelman Says:

    “Shortly after the Treaty of Versailles was signed, I showed up to get some more of my possessions….”
    For a fascinating look at other, even more catastrophic, results of the Treaty of Versalles down to the present day, do have a look at my great new book –“A Shattered Peace: Versailles 1919 and the Price We Pay Today” [] just published by Wiley !
    David A. Andelman

  7. zion hill Says:

    For those that can’t find their old yearbook, check this site out ->

    It has thousands of old yearbooks you can search and browse online…

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