An Old Jew, a Cuban and a Redneck Walk Into A Bar with an alligator on a leash…


The bartender says, “Where did you get that?”

The alligator looks up and says, “Florida. They got millions of them.”

With the Dems staying out of it again for the lamest of reasons, the real horse race will be among the Republicans.


Win: McCain–Back among your people. Elderly military retirees.

Place: Romney— The best thing about Romney getting the eventual runner-up prize VP nod (now taking proposition wagers!), is that if elected, Bruce Campbell will have four years of steady work.

Show: Giuliani–Quien es muy macho? Bienvenidos ala fiesta, culo.

Again, the Democrats have decided to penalize a state for moving up the primary in order to stupidly compete with Iowa and New Hampshire. No delegates for you!

Side bet: This comes back to bite them in the ass in November. All Mee-Maw, and her new husband Sol, will remember is that you didn’t speak at their condo association meeting back in January like that nice Mike Huckabee did. They will remember that very well when they go into the polling place and accidentally vote for Pat Buchanan again.


Win: Clinton–Would nude wrestle an alligator at half-time at the Orange Bowl to become president.

Place: Obama–Would nude wrestle Hillary at half-time at the Orange Bowl to become president.

Show: Edwards–Would nude wrestle himself, anytime. Outcall appointments available.


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