If At First You Don’t Secede…

by

This may be the one that breaks the streak. The GOP side of the race is problematic. I don’t see Romney getting the Big Bounce out of Michigan. I see him getting the Big Bounce out of the race after February 5th. Despite the poll numbers, which unlike this humble blogger have been all wrong, this might be Fred’s turn to shine. And by shine, I mean sleepwalk into a third place finish.

On the Dem’s side of the race, Edwards is crying that he is being ignored by the press while the Half Ebony and Brittle Ivory juggernaut of Obama/Clinton steamrolls through his most recent home state of convenience. Edwards is a hotel suite in Houston away from having George Bush Senior tell him to pick a home state and stick with it.

The important question is, how many of these candidates had the fortitude to make an important speech about illegal immigration using that monument to genius marketing and tackiness, South of the Border, as their photo-op back drop?

Vote for Pedro

Pedro says, “Vote Huckabee!”

Win: McCain–Learned the lessons of 2000. Made nice with Bob Jones and all the other fringe dwellers.

Place: Huckabee–Only in South Carolina could you say something like,

“What we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards, rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family.”

and STILL be painted as a liberal.

Show: Thompson–Sorry to wake you.

As for the Dems, your primary is a week from now. Unless Clinton or Obama are found in bed with a live boy, a dead girl or each other between now and then, expect the expected outcome.  Or not.
Win: Obama–Has the advantage of being half-white. Like Strom Thurmond’s children.

Place: Edwards–Expect the unexpected.  Also, this is the best you will do anywhere.  Accept it.

Show: Clinton–The only place in South Carolina where thick-ankled girls are welcomed is Parris Island.  Good luck with that.

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6 Responses to “If At First You Don’t Secede…”

  1. sgazzetti Says:

    Your political commentary this time around is reminiscent of the late, lamented SPY Magazine, which I assume is your mission drive at all times. Too bad this race doesn’t have a short-fingered vulgarian.

    SOTB always make me nostalgic — the first Mrs. Sgazzetti and I spent the night there on the day we all ETS’ed. This is more memorable to me than our honeymoon. How sad is that?

  2. Sarcastro Says:

    The “thick-ankled” descriptor may be a direct swipe from SPY. Failure to recall, sir.

    My favoritest memory of SOTB may be from that FTX at Ft. Bragg. On the drive up and back we read aloud every one of those billboards for 200 miles.

    Much to the consternation of one broken and beleaguered Andinian.

  3. Volunteer Voters » Call Your Bookies Says:

    […] The seer of seers, the prognosticator of prognosticators, Sarcastro has made his picks for the South Carolina Presidential Primary taking place tomorrow: Win: McCain–Learned the lessons of 2000. Made nice with Bob Jones and all the other fringe dwellers. […]

  4. Sean Braisted Says:

    What about the Nevada Caucus?

  5. Tennesseefree.com » Could The Streak Be Broken? Says:

    […] Sarcastro, who was been pretty good at picking primary winners the last couple of weeks, has posted his picks for South Carolina. Win: Obama–Has the advantage of being half-white. Like Strom Thurmond’s children. […]

  6. Can’t Win Them All « Watching The Defectives Says:

    […] Win Them All As much as I would like to blame John Edwards for this, the responsibility lies with […]

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