Sexual Confusion


It doesn’t really come as a big shocker that yet another elected official/watchdog of public morality turns out to be a closeted peter puffer. Allegedly. Whether Senator Craig likes dick or not isn’t really interesting to me. Here are my questions concerning this George Michaellian escapade.

When did the Minneapolis airport become a hotbed of illicit man-action?

Couldn’t Senator Craig gotten some numbers from Barney Frank or Jeff Gannon?

When did tapping your foot while taking a dump become the international sign for “glory hole”?

What does it mean to the perverted menace that stalks our public restrooms when you clear your throat or make that straining sound as you squeeze one out?

Shouldn’t the secret signal for getting gay in the public restroom be this sound?

UPDATE: Upon further review, it is pretty clear that Senator Craig’s story doesn’t hold water. As the details of this incident are coming out, you would have to be a complete stooge not to accept that he is lying. Normally, just having the word “Senator” in front of ones name is enough to be considered a premier prevaricator.

Innocent people don’t plead guilty and hide the entire sorry event from friends and family. Look at it this way, if you were minding your own business, dropping a deuce in an airport restroom, tapping your feet to the crazy beats in your head, and the cops arrested you for being a sex-crazed queer-o-sexual, wouldn’t you be angry at this abuse of power rather than ashamed? Most of the time, innocent people get indignant and outraged at a false accusation. They don’t sheepishly and quietly accept a plea hoping that their wives don’t find out about it (again).

This cat(amite) is supposedly a member of an exclusive club of the most powerful 100 politicians in the country–The United States Senate. Wouldn’t he just have to pick up a phone to have this cops badge thrown in the trash and his head mounted (damn, these jokes just write themselves) on his wall? Well, he would if he were innocent of whatever “crime” he committed.

Jack Shafer, writing in Slate has the best take so far,

I guess that loathe as I am to sympathize with Craig, I’m with the “why was this a crime?” crowd. Laws against public sex are understandable. Laws against merely soliciting someone for sex are something else entirely. Might as well sent the SWAT teams into singles bars too, then. Maybe the foot tapping and paper-snatching really are code for “let’s do it in the stall.” I don’t know. But Craig didn’t actually engage in the lewd behavior. Didn’t get that far. Aside from the peeping charge, which was thrown out, the only thing I can see that he’s guilty of is looking for a willing sex partner. And I can’t see how that is or should be a crime.


10 Responses to “Sexual Confusion”

  1. Exador Says:

    I don’t know what the closeted gays find so fascinating about airport bathrooms. Atlanta had a rash of activities at Hartsfield-Jackson-Parks-King-Sharpton International Airport.
    The Po-Po did a sting and arrested a bunch of men.

  2. Katherine Coble Says:

    Maybe the foot-tapping was in Morse code. Like two shorts and a long or something.

  3. Music City Bloggers » Blog Archive » Gives A Whole New Meaning To “Secret Handshake” Says:

    […] Sarcastro is always the man I look to when word of a gay sex scandal comes down the pike. […]

  4. Ginger Says:

    I was just wondering….was that recording from your son’s, um, really bad day recently?

  5. Jack Says:

    Katherine, I think the Morse code sign is actually just one long. Or maybe two. Depending on how much privacy there is. Definitely no shorts needed.

  6. Exador Says:

    Ya know, now that I’ve heard the details of this story, I’ve gotta say that the government should have a stronger burden of proof than this.

    Is foot tapping lewd behavior?

  7. dolphin Says:

    Well I don’t know anything about the sign language involved in soliciting bathroom sex, but Sen. Craig’s actions certainly go beyond tapping his foot.

    He tapped his foot, then moved it over and rubbed it against the officers foot in the next stall. Then he proceeded to reach under the stall wall and wave at the officer. If somebody did all that to ME in a public bathroom, I would be getting the heck out and notifying security.

    I assume the police know what the code for requesting lewd behavior is, but even if this isn’t it, it’s still incredibly bizarre behavior. If someone tries to play footsies with me under the stall wall they’ll be pulling back a stub.

  8. Exador Says:

    Yes, dolphin, that’s all wierd behavior, but it’s not lewd. While it may be commonly understood to be the code for soliciting sex, it could also be just wierd behavior. Maybe he was looking to drum up votes. Either way, I think one should have to commit a crime to be arrested for it. I get skeevy when the government starts saying, “Well, we knew he was going to do something illegal.”

  9. dolphin Says:

    I think one should have to commit a crime to be arrested for it.

    You don’t think battery is a crime? Invasion of privacy? Come on staring intently through the crack in the door long enough for the officer to even note the color of his eyes?

    Whether or not you’d have had him arrested, are you saying you wouldn’t have felt like he was doing anything wrong if he was staring at YOU on the toilet? Certainly even as a libertarian, you’d agree that we all have a right to go the bathroom without an audience?

  10. Exador Says:

    Yes, obviously, but that charge was dropped. I was speaking to the charge of lewd conduct, based on the foot tapping, etc.

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