It’s Not The Heat, It’s The Stupidity

by

To be fair, I’m not sure who is to blame here.

All I know is when John Dwyer read this story during the What I’m Forced To Watch in The Morning Now That Imus Has Been Shitcanned News Program, I wanted to shoot my television.  But this was, apparently, National Blogger’s Day of Not Shooting Up the Television Day.  Or something.

The story was about how a Rutherford County fifth grader took a toy gun to school.  A TOY GUN.  The authorities were able to interdict him before he entered the school with A TOY GUN.  He was, however, able to smuggle A TOY GUN on the school bus without setting off the high tech TOY GUN detector that every student must pass through before boarding the bus per TSA regulations.  The brave men and women of the TOY GUN SQUAD: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT disarmed the child who had A TOY GUN and suspended him for having A TOY GUN. 

The school officials then sent out a letter warning parents of the presence of A TOY GUN.  A letter.  From the school.  In my day, the only reason letters were sent home involved lice or scoliosis. 

The part of this dumbassery that made me want to unload my REAL GUN into the television, was when Dwyer, inadvertently channeling Ted Baxter intoned, "No one was hurt."

I’d hope not.  Because last time I checked, it was a MOTHERFUCKING TOY GUN. 

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6 Responses to “It’s Not The Heat, It’s The Stupidity”

  1. Scott Smith Says:

    I read yesterday that the University of Oklahoma went into lockdown mode for a couple of hours after a student was spotted with what was believed to be weapon. Long story short: it turned out to be an umbrella. I’m assuming no one was hurt there either.

  2. Short and Fat Says:

    Wait a minute.Are you suggesting this gun was a toy of some type?

  3. john h Says:

    didn’t some secret agent get poisoned by the tip of an umbrella…we can’t be too vigilant…d’oh!

  4. Lynnster Says:

    "TOY GUN SQUAD: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT"Heh.(PS Hey, come eat BBQ with me & K-Co & Dr. Woo & Finn and I dunno who else tomorrow noonish if you can get away. Or heck, bring the bambino, we’ll be too busy eating BBQ to eat babies.)

  5. Ginger Says:

    Wait a minute.Are you suggesting this gun was a toy of some type?yes, S&F, and I believe the model was an AK-MOTHERFUCKING toy gunchanneling Ted Baxterlolololol

  6. Jagosaurus Says:

    "TOY GUN SQUAD: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT"HAHAHAHAHAHA. Awesome.

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