Elvis is Everywhere!

by

In what will certainly become one of many exhibits for the prosecution regarding my fitness as a parent and role-model, I’ve been teaching the boys to sing the Jordanaires part for “In The Ghetto” everytime we drive through UCLA (Ugliest Corner, Lower Antioch). In order to let the boys learn the actual song, I went and picked up a copy of “Elv1s” from The Great Escape. It was like eight bucks for thirty Elvis hits. You can accuse me of putting Tower Records out of business if you like. But honestly, how long should they have stayed in business charging sixteen dollars for the same damn CD?

I’ve never really been a big Elvis fan. I became aware of The King during the mid-seventies. As far as I knew, he was a fat, sweaty, grotesque cheeseball Vegas act whose records were sold on television. The big cool-to-me acts at the time like Elton John, The Who, The Stones, The Eagles and Fleetwood Mac would have to wait thirty years to become fat, sweaty, grotesque cheeseball Vegas acts whose records are sold on television.

When Elvis died, I remember thinking “good, about damn time”. John Lennon used to claim that Elvis really died when he joined the Army. This always struck me as ironic because Lennon really died sometime in late 1970. It just took 10 years for Mark David Chapman to track him down and put him out of his misery.

So, I’m listening to all these old Elvis tunes, and all of a sudden, it struck me. These songs are indeed timeless classics. In fact, several of them remind me of Nashville bloggers.

For example, now whenever I hear Hard Headed Woman, I immediately think of the willfully obtuse Aunt B.

Now Adam told to Eve,
Listen here to me,
Dont you let me catch you
Messin round that apple tree.
Oh yeah, ever since the world began
A hard headed woman been
A thorn in the side of man.

The hits keep coming.

Are You Lonesome Tonight seems perfect for serial onanist B-Dub.

WKRN’s Milkman of Human Kindness, Adam Kleinheider, brings to mind Wooden Heart. His opposite number, Brittney of NiT, is tailor-made for A Little Less Conversation.

Lefties Sean Braisted and Chris Wage sing duet on Surrender. Meanwhile, Mr. Wage’s paramour, Amanda, is the Devil in Disguise.

Immigration activist Mack of Coyote Chronicles is now indelibly linked to, what else, Return to Sender.

Katherine Coble, as usual, is Crying in the Chapel.

Suspicious Minds can only belong to Roger Abramson and the rest of the Staggering Prophets.

CLC is A Fool Such as I.

There couldn’t be an Elvis/Blogger meat-up without the founder of the feast. A Hunk, A-Hunk of Burnin’ Love, Nashville Knucklehead. The camera doesn’t lie.

fatelvis.jpg

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13 Responses to “Elvis is Everywhere!”

  1. Aunt B. Says:

    I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me. I’m getting a little teary-eyed here."Willfully obtuse." I’m putting that on my blog.

  2. Katherine Coble Says:

    I like mine, but I’m DYING over Mack’s. That’s the best. ;-p

  3. Lesley Says:

    The story of vivalalesley:I’m an Elvis fan and back in the good ol’ days, you could get a free email account from elvis.com. I struggled for days to come up with the best handle and settle on "Viva La Lesley." And it’s stuck for five years. True story.Incidentally, I wasn’t much of a fan until I was in my 20s. Some people who grow up in Memphis don’t like Elvis simply because it’s so cliche. Then we listen and we like. One of the best concerts I ever attended was an Elvis concert. In 2002. Yes, Elvis was dead, but everyone else was alive and it was awesome.

  4. lcreekmo Says:

    My tale is similar to Lesley’s though no cool email addresses involved. I grew up near Memphis and even when he was still alive, we were already over Elvis. I do remember when he died, though I was very young — one of my friends’ mother was just devastated. Made a big impression me as a 7yo….though even then, I thought, that is WEIRD that she is so upset.My next door neighbors growing up went to high school w/ the King. And one of my high school friends worked as a tour guide at Graceland. So, he was everywhere.And I always knew the songs — you couldn’t NOT know the songs in Memphis; they just seep into your consciousness. But I was not a fan until I was in college. People, the man was a genius. Incidentally, I’ve never been to Graceland and I will never go.Especially not in early January or mid-August. 🙂

  5. Mack Says:

    (slapping my thigh) I’m struggling with either "Don’t be cruel" for you, or, after seeing your rental property, "In the Ghetto." I’ll get back to you.

  6. Sarcastro Says:

    I figured it was only a matter of time before someone came back at me with "Don’t Be Cruel".I knew it was you, Fredo.

  7. CeeElCee Says:

    Hey, I resemble that remark. I’ll just pretend it’s th Bluegrass version of the song.

  8. Kerry Woo Says:

    So who would "Little Sister" and "Good Luck Charm" be? Do tell, do tell…

  9. Sarcastro Says:

    If only we had a black female midget blogger for "Little Sister" and a leprechaun for "Lucky Charm"…

  10. Roger Abramson Says:

    It took me about 20 years to realize that the nam of that song was not "Caught In A Trap" or something like it.

  11. Amanda Says:

    Disguise?

  12. sistasmiff Says:

    I love me some Elvis. Whether it’s in his prime, young, hot, sex machine years or old (he wasn’t so old) fat and pitiful…he was the best.

  13. Ginger Says:

    Sarcastro, "If I Could Dream", I know ‘ol "E" would be looking down right now and knowing that he just"Can’t Help Fallin’ In Love" with your snark, ya old "Hound Dog".As for me, I’m just a hunka hunka "Burnin’ Love"…

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