Cheap Shots

by

***John Rocker has some t-shirts to sell. He is uniting the country under the banner of a common language. You got a problem with that, Paco? Rocker got a raw deal after that unfortunate Sports Illustrated interview. His career was essentially over as soon as the magazine hit the streets. Make it up to him, and buy a shirt.

***The Tennessean is confusing me. How can they copyright mug shots (click on the photos in the story) that are taken by local law enforcement and paid for by the citizenry? Seriously, is there a lawyer in the house who can explain it to me? They must be concerned that us millionaire bloggers will siphon off their revenue stream by swiping online content.

Speaking of the content of the article, would it have been too hard to actually go speak with the young Marine while he is in jail? I know it is easier just to print excerpts of his letter to the judge. But, it might have shown, I don’t know, an interest in reporting more than what is just spoon-fed to you.

On the topic of the article, perhaps they should change the name of the place to something other than “Youth Ranch”. It makes it sound like a place you go to ride, uh, youths.

One more blast at the daily. Why is it that the Wall Street Journal has to drive 937 miles to score a story on the lavish lifestyle of highly paid hopheads in academia? Last time I checked, it was well within the realm of possibility to walk from 1100 Broadway to Vanderbilt University in under an hour. Nothing like a big paper with national circulation swooping in and sniffing out some real news right under your nose. The Gannett Fishwrap further cemented their reputation as the lapdog of Vandyland by printing this idiotic story with an equally idiotic headline, “Vandy Shrugs off Gee Revelations“.

Really? So no one who would have to face the wrath of Gee-Money is willing to spout off about it. What a shocker. What about the rest of the city that you purportedly cover? Any reaction there? I know you couldn’t spare Woodtard and Bernstain from their massive investigation of how much going to prison must suck, but if you asked anyone in any of the bars within a one mile radius of your office, or even if you asked the chicks working the SuperCuts out on Charlotte, EVERYBODY in town has an opinion about this. It is all anyone talked about yesterday and they are still talking today. The fucking hobo standing by at the interstate exit asked me what I thought about Connie gettin’ high instead of asking for change.

***Funnier than Borat? Jesus Camp.
Scarier than The Grudge? Jesus Camp.
Sadder than Richard Simmons throwing a football? Jesus Camp.

***Screech. Sex Tape. Dirty Sanchez. Gross. Can’t. Complete. Sentence.

***A Money Changer in the Temple. When Jesus comes back, he’s going to carry a baseball bat. The best thing about these kiosks is that none may buy and sell without the PIN of the Beast. Everyone needs a faith based emporium teeming with impulse buy items.

flanders_zombie.gif

***Speaking of Jesus going back on tour, naturally the Baby-Boomers think it is all about them. Personally, I’m holding out for a zombie apocalypse, but whatever floats your boat. Religious kooks or zombies, it is all the same to me.

Shop smart! Shop S-Mart.

Advertisements

8 Responses to “Cheap Shots”

  1. Aunt B. Says:

    They can’t. I don’t know why, but that makes me irrationally angry.

  2. saraclark Says:

    I think from now on I’m going to start using Dirty Sanchez instead of Felch in everyday conversation. I had never actually seen the definition for that before. Now I’ve learned something today.We should all quit our jobs and become Apocolypse Impressarios. or maybe just any kind of Impressario. That would make a cool job title.

  3. Katherine Coble Says:

    The very concept of a Dirty Sanchez sickens me. Always has. Nastiness. Ubernastiness.And I would like to point out that after 8 months I have just broken $19.00 with Google Adsense.

  4. grandefille Says:

    Not going there because clearly NSFW, but …Screech? Saved by the Be…?Okay, my brain just fell out and gasped in horror.

  5. Jagosaurus Says:

    I’m ignoring the Dirty Sanchez [shudder] and focusing on this instead: "It’s truly like an ATM for Jesus."WTF?

  6. saraclark Says:

    Because we all know that Jesus needs our money. Let the sheep..oops I meant flock, que up to use the ATM for Jesus.I once asked why he didn’t just "loaves and fishes" up a penny and make it do all that Jesus would ever need, but I couldn’t get a straight answer to that question.

  7. newscoma Says:

    First of all, mugshots are fair game and that’s bullshit.Second of all, I had to tell nine, count ’em, nine people what a Dirty Sanchez was yesterday, three of them being church ladies at my office.To Sara: Felch is something that I’ve also had to explain to people, although I did that without them asking.Thank God Wiki’s have it broken down clinically for us now to explain the uneducated.

  8. saraclark Says:

    I have to just appreciate the sheer basic appalled look on the Other Half’s face when I use those terms. Did you have to give context or examples with your explanations?It had never occured to me to use Wikipedia to research and define that class of language before. I think I would still need a second source to confirm their definition, what with Wiki’s track record and all.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: