Hate Mail

by

After the Anna Nicole blast the other day, this found its way into my inbox:

Bonnie Napier of ib2@comcast.net writes:
The vulgarity of your comments about the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son are reprehensible.  Using sarcasm and not so witty commentary about the death of a young man –a grieving mother  — definitely take the award for "Most Ignorant Fool:.  Let’s hope you never experience the loss of a child, perhaps then others might get some humor out of your parenting and lifestyle choices.

Bonnie.
 
I was going to wait until the coroner’s report came out before commenting on that email.  After all, who am I to criticize the mothering skills of someone whose kid died within her sight covered in blood and vomit?  Too bad they weren’t in a hospital or anything, so he might have received medical attention.  She certainly has her hands full with the making a buck off of her dead son.  That’s probably why she has sequestered herself away from pesky people with questions regarding the kid’s death.  She needs  the time to grieve by rolling naked in a big pile of money.
 
As to my losing a child, yes that would be horrible.  But, I’m pretty sure mixing prescription sleeping aids and anti-depressants isn’t an example I would set for my kids.  See, when mom is a pill popping, vodka swilling train wreck, it isn’t a big shock when her kid thinks he can dodge that same bullet, is it?
 
I’m not completely heartless, Bonnie.  Whenever I see a kid in a wheelchair it makes me a little sad.  Because I always think, "Gee, they could have used those same wheels to make a bike for a regular kid."  What a waste.

 In a related story, after years of ripping off The Onion, they have struck back.  Gina’s comment sounds so damn familiar

2nd Autopsy For Anna Nicole’s Son

A second autopsy will be performed on Anna Nicole Smith’s 20-year-old son who died at her bedside while she was hospitalized in the Bahamas. What do you think?

Old Man

Tom Jensen,
Photographer
"A second autopsy? Oh, God, did he die again?"

Young Woman

Gina Lannegan,
Bartender
"I’m just surprised a child raised by Anna Nicole Smith made it to 20."

Asian Man

Walter Godwin,
Baggage Handler
"The media frenzy over her son’s death is sickening. All this woman’s ever asked for is her privacy."

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5 Responses to “Hate Mail”

  1. Aunt B. Says:

    Whoo, this makes me laugh, twice over. Once at you and once at Ms. Bonnie. What kind of punctuation is that?’Using sarcasm and not so witty commentary about the death of a young man –a grieving mother — definitely take the award for "Most Ignorant Fool:.’What’s with that colon? And the dashes? Usually dashes hold something that clarifies what’s come before it, but I don’t think the dead kid is also a grieving mother, so I don’t know what to make of it.Anyway, I do totally want to start calling you Mr. Most Ignorant Fool.

  2. jagosaurus Says:

    I guess no one ever told Bonnie that being sensitive to insensitivity is completely futile."A second autopsy? Oh, God, did he die again?" Heh.

  3. sgazzetti Says:

    In addition to all of this letter’s other shortcomings, I’m afraid it arrives 15 years too late. I seem to recall you being named "Most Ignorant Fool:" in the School of Middle Eastern Languages at DLI in 1991.

  4. klevabich Says:

    OMG, where did you get those quotes? "All this woman’s ever asked for is her privacy." Pardon me while I spew my beverage all over the keyboard…

  5. Hersch Says:

    Sarcastro –Sometimes when vultues are swarming low, they want to think of themselves as eagles soaring. When you come in for a landing, please leave a forwarding address, a nice fruit basket seems appropriate.

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