Things We Forgot From The Third Grade


Here’s a story about The Boys, that demands a wider audience.

Last night was Open House for 8’s third grade class.  More accurately, it was for the parents.  Among the things that I learned, apart from how every Church of Christ person in Nashville knows someone who knows every other Church of Christ person in Nashville, was:

*Teachers don’t like it when you point out that the wall they have labeled as East is really North and the wall they have labeled as North is really West.  Apparently school cutbacks got rid of compasses and senses of humor.

*If you want to hold an effective Parent’s Open House, you may want to unlock the doors to the school so that the parents can get in.

*The nicest elementary school in the most beautiful setting is doomed once they start slapping up subdivisions on every piece of available land surrounding it.  Rutherford County needs to decide real quick how many more housing developments they really need.  If the classes are full now, how full will they be in five years when you have a couple thousand more people living within a half mile of the school?

*Lastly, when the Zombie Apocalypse comes and we have to rebuild society with only a fraction of the population left, I will institute the following rules, that the third graders currently abide by, as the foundation of the new legal system:


Keep your hands to yourself.

Respect others feelings.


Follow directions.

Do your best.

Be responsible. 

Oh, and kill all zombies.



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