500 Channels and Nothing To Watch


There is nothing on the Vast Wasteland tonight.  So let’s live-blog America’s Got Talent.  I would have to say that America’s talent is self-delusion, but that’s a post for another time. 

19:12–First group.  At Last.  WTF?  Gay Asian boy band?  You see something new every day.

19:23– Quick Change.  I don’t know how they do that, and I don’t really care.  Good to hear some Hendrix, regardless.  Nice sniping at the snotty Brit judge.

19:31–Rapping Granny.  Fuck this.  I can’t take anymore.  Show this to the dumb bastards in Gitmo and Abu Ghraib.  They’ll tell you anything you want to know if you will only turn this awful crap off.

The acts themselves don’t suck.  I’m looking forward to Passing Zone.  Juggling is always entertaining.

The migraine-inducing hype, obnoxious bumper music and bottom feeding celebrity judges elevate this to a whole different level of bad.  Do you ever talk to someone so dumb that you feel dumb afterwards?  That is this show.   Hasselhoff used three worn out sports cliches in one breath.  Something about the key to winning tonight is "who has the most heart, who wants it more, and who is in the zone".    That shit sounded lame back in high school before the big game against our cross-town rivals, much less now on live national television.

Where’s an electrical storm that knocks out the cable when you need it? 



One Response to “500 Channels and Nothing To Watch”

  1. newscoma Says:

    A seven year-old made me watch the rapping granny.It’s the only thing I’ve seen of this show.And the last.This much I can guarentee.

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