Family Guy


If you wander around the new nicely appointed A. A. Birch Courthouse these days, you will see a lot of hustle and bustle.  Several TV remote trucks are stationed outside.  Court TV has a little set up over at the jail, with the courthouse serving as their backdrop. 

The media hasn’t bivouac’d around the courthouse for my benefit.  They are there to cover the Perry March trial.  I saw March’s former in-laws and his attorneys going through security.  Onlookers acted like Pope Mel or one of the American Idol losers were walking in the building.  Audible gasps and "Omigod!  Look!  That’s Mr. Levine!" murmured through the crowd of star-struck yokels.

Not to stray too far from the point, but it did remind me of how fucked up our national priorities are.  We celebrate those who have done nothing of value, while ignoring those who deserve celebration.  Why should some shyster lawyer, or some wife-killing Napoleon, or the wife’s litigiously grief stricken parents be better known in this town than, say, Byron Motley or Joe Snow.  This same line of reasoning was brought up by Denis Leary the other night on Rescue Me.  He asked a bar full of morons why they could name five contestants from last year’s American Idol, but can’t name one firefighter that died in The World Trade Center.

That rant belongs in another post for another time.  It has nothing to do with why I went to the courthouse.  As another aside, I spent about an hour listening to plea bargains, judgements of "not guilty by reason of insanity", and appeals in police shoot-out cases.  Good stuff, unless you have the attention span on an eight year old.  Then, it’s as boring as church.

No, the reason I was there was to get married by a judge friend.  I’ve made an honest woman out of Sugar Momma, and now have two stepsons to show for it.  The happy couple will be honeymooning on a couch in West Nashville watching the Perry March trial and episodes of The Wire on HBO.


15 Responses to “Family Guy”

  1. Exador Says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t invite me up for the wedding. At least send me pictures.

  2. Sarcastro Says:

    Your "Going to Weddings In Nashville" privileges have been revoked.

  3. bridgett Says:

    Congratulations and best wishes to you both!

  4. john h Says:

    holy shit, er, cow! Congratulations in the most sincerest of manners. If I could afford it, I’d send apes bearing jewels and ripe pomegranites, but sadly, we ate at Watermark not too long ago and are broke.

  5. I. Chu Bubblegum Says:

    Bughbghah! Astonishing news. I never figured you for the (re)marrying kind. Congratulations to Sugar Momma for finding a chink in your armor. And to you for marrying a woman smart enough to find a chink in your armor. Rolling Rocks and Garlic Prawns all around. Good on you.

  6. SistaSmiff Says:

    Congratulations!!The second time I married my Babys’ Daddy, we did the courthouse route and it was a lot funner than the first time than the first wedding. Maybe it was the giggling because the same judge that divorced us remarried us…

  7. Tara Says:

    Congratulations my dear…to both of you! I wish you the best!

  8. Richard Says:

    Congradulation… you are a braver man than I am. I am avoiding getting married at all cost

  9. Les Jones Says:

    Being married you’ll live longer, or at least it will feel that way.I keed! Congrats.

  10. jag Says:


  11. Gandalf Mantooth Says:

    not particularly high on nuptuals at the moment, but well, good on ya lad

  12. Chris Wage Says:

    Sucker. I mean, uh, congratulations.

  13. saraclark Says:

    You understood that "commitment" meant to her and not a restful hospital stay right?Congratulations!

  14. CeeElCee Says:

    Which seal of hell did you open? I was pretty sure that six of them had already been cracked.Speaking of cracks, when did this molten magma start to seep out from the crack in the floor under my desk?Uh oh…Congrats!

  15. Rachel Says:


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