Touched By An Uncle


In a stunningly cynical move, Vanity Fair presents the sad tale of Teri Hatcher’s abuse stained childhood by showing her looking totally hot on the cover.  The Uncle must have seen her potential.  Ok, that’s wrong, I admit it.  What she went through was terrible and I shouldn’t make fun.  That’s just tacky.  But I’m not the one charging $4.50 a copy for all the lurid details either. 

hatcher-VF.jpg The  Uncle got 14 years in prison for UncleFucking another young girl who later killed herself.

In a tangentially related story, Debra Lafave was on Court TV today to plea bargain her kiddie raping ass out of doing hard time.  Unfortunately, Court TV anchor Ashleigh Banfield wouldn’t shut up about how hot Ms. Lafave is.  We know, Ash.  That’s why she’s gettin’ a slap on the wrist.

The even hotter horny teacher, Pamela Rogers Turner, is out of jail, having somewhat served her ersatz debt to society.  Ms. Turner can probably be found wherever cold beer and meretricious behavior are sold.


11 Responses to “Touched By An Uncle”

  1. Aunt B. Says:

    Meretricious?Good god. Do you have some kind of Thesaurus of Naughty Behavior or what?

  2. Sarcastro Says:

    If I did, would you be shocked?

  3. Aunt B. Says:

    Okay, no.

  4. W Says:

    Did you say cynical or cyclical?

  5. Sarcastro Says:

    Either one is good.

  6. Exador Says:

    OK, Terri. We all understand that you didn’t out the uncle for publicity. How do explain Vanity Fair spread (get it?) then? You could have outed him and then told Vanity Fair that it’s a personal and painful memory that you’d rather not discuss.

  7. Lesley Says:

    Wow. You make a good point about the inappropriate nature of that cover. And it reminds me that I’ve been meaning to complain to VF about all the cheesecake recently. I’m tired of seeing naked ladies!

  8. Sarcastro Says:

    Let’s not do anything rash about the cheesecake covers. This one, as hot as it is, is just in bad taste.

  9. Exador Says:

    I just went back and looked at the cover again. Notice how she’s clutching her arms across herself (covering up), and the caption says, "This is something I’ve tried to hide my whole life." ?What does "this" refer to, Terri?

  10. Aunt B. Says:

    Here’s my question. Isn’t it weird that she’d admit this in a magazine interview for which she’s presumably been paid nothing and not in her book? Does she not have a publicist to explain that you’re supposed to make people pay you for the juicy stuff?

  11. Sarcastro Says:

    I think she is trying to hide the fact that her breasts are not as spectacular as she boasted in that Seinfeld episode.

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