Surf Feminazis Must Die!


 Maureen Dowd is out peddling her new book, Are Men Necessary?, this week on all the chat shows.  Between her and certain other Catchers of the Third Wave, my eyes are starting to glaze over.  Luckily enough for my remaining brain cells, Joe Queenan has answered these broads with the right amount of smart-assery in this month’s Men’s Health.  Here’s an excerpt:

Of all the creatures on the planet, men are the only ones who voluntarily read abusive material telling them that they are useless, stupid, cruel, impotent, horrible parents, crummy partners, and probably doomed. This is what separates us from the Siamese wood louse and the Caribbean reef squid: The males of those species do not read books or articles flaying them for being one-dimensional and biologically extraneous.

And that kind of genetic-apocalypse literature is all the rage. Maureen Dowd’s new book, Are Men Necessary? will arrive in time to make a yuletide stocking stuffer for enraged feminists and self-emasculating males. And even though we must assume that her book is more than tongue-in-cheek, its title alone echoes a concept that is disturbingly popular.

"Men already have their eviction notice from the planet, since geneticists agree that the Y chromosome is melting faster than the Wicked Witch of the West," says Dowd. "There are some who think that in 100,000 years or so, we’ll just need a few semen slaves to milk, and that women can handle the rest, from refinancing to reproduction, on their own. Do you want to apply for the job?"

No, I do not. Moreover, the question of whether men are biologically necessary is secondary. The basic argument is not that men are expendable, but that men suck. Sure, men are responsible for the Pyramids, the Magna Carta, "Brown Sugar," the Renaissance, the iPod, Westminster Abbey, motion pictures, the Louvre, the 1969 landing on the moon, Starry Night, Coca-Cola, the smallpox vaccine, the theory of relativity, and the Great Wall of China. But men still suck. They are mean, ignorant, and given to invading peaceable kingdoms like Iraq; frankly, the whole world would be better off without them. In short, the let’s-make-men-extinct movement is primarily the work of the miffed, the pissed off, the dateless, and the insane.

Amen, Brother Joe.   


4 Responses to “Surf Feminazis Must Die!”

  1. Exador Says:

    My God, do you EVER do any work? I’m frantically trying to fit in a cognitive thought, my poor typing, and looking busy at work.Still, it a VERY funny thread.

  2. Sarcastro Says:

    I’ve been playing hooky this morning. I need to go check on a jobsite, but am not motivated to do so.

  3. sgazzetti Says:

    Word on the street (by which I mean Slate) is that Dowd is in fact a real looker, a flash broad with cans that won’t quit and gams up to here. The writer of that piece ( seems to think that it’s her own personal neuroses that keep her in the undatable camp.

  4. Sarcastro Says:

    As I posted over at Pith in the Wind, “Dowd wondering why men run from her, is like Hitler wondering why his Jewish friends never call anymore.”Yeah, Godwin’s Law and all that crap.

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