Revenge of the Nerds


I’m not going to use this forum for bashing Star Wars fans
Hell, when the first one came out in ’77, I saw it nine times that
summer.  I’ve gone to see all of them on opening day, or at least
a day or two after.  I like the movies.  But they are just
movies, not something to base one’s existence on.  So like I said,
I’m not going to go after the pathetic losers who queue up a couple of
weeks in advance wearing their Jar Jar Binks outfits.  I’m not
going to laugh and point at all of the tubby Jedis that took time off
from their used record store jobs.  There is no point in being
ugly about some pasty skinned computer programmer who has filled his
Mom’s basement with action figures and collectibles all the while never
knowing the touch of a member of the opposite sex.  It has been done
before and I refuse to pile on.  Nothing is as reprehensible as
picking on someone who doesn’t have the ability to fight back. 
Even if they do have a toy light saber.

So instead, I’m going to pick on the Star Trek fans.  Sure, in the Venn diagram
of geeks, there is plenty of overlap.  But this time I’m going
after one geek in particular.  You know who you are, pal.

A couple of years ago a group of couples went out for a nice couples
kind of night out.  Nothing fancy.  Just a “Hey, you all want
to get a drink(s) and a movie?” kind of thing.  As fate would have
it, one of the Star Trek pictures was having its opening night at the
Green Hills Megaplex.  Don’t ask me which one.  I don’t
remember and it isn’t important.  So our little group goes in and
whaddyaknow, there is a guy all decked out in his Captain Picard
jumper.  Can’t say I’m surprised at that point.  Hold
everything.  He has a date.  A nice looking girl.  A
nice looking BLIND girl.  Yeah, that’s right.  Captain
Pajamas decides to spice up his evening by dressing up as a fictional
character.  Hey, that is fine and dandy. You are hurting no one
but yourself.   But the poor chick he takes with him doesn’t have
a fucking clue that she is the arm candy of the biggest doofus in the

As a whole, society doesn’t look kindly upon people who take advantage of the disabled.  When Islamic terrorists talk the Down’s Syndrome kid into
strapping on some C-4 and taking a walk into a crowded marketplace, we
tend to think that particular Islamic terrorist is a little shittier
than most Islamic terrorists.  So listen up Star Trek fan. 
So now you have taken advantage of a blind girl.  There is a
little special circle of hell for dopes like you.  That particular
circle is full of rabid loser sports fans and angry little league dads.

Oh,  and there is no television.


2 Responses to “Revenge of the Nerds”

  1. sgazzetti Says:

    Okay, now, this leaves me with two questions:1) Did the loser in the jammies have to buy a ticket for the blind girl to ‘see’ the Star Trek flick and2) The opposite sex has members too?

  2. Sarcastro Says:

    1) I assume that the Regal Cinema chain does not have a “blind chick” discount. So she at least paid to hear a Star Trek radio program in Dolby Surround Sound.2) The member that belongs to the opposite sex is sometime called “the man in the boat.” Your boat size may vary.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: