You know that Johnny Werzner kid-the kid who delivers papers in the neighborhood?
He’s a fine kid.
Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack,
but I don’t believe it.
Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he wanted was a burrow owl.
Kept bugging his old man,
"Dad, get me a burrow owl. I’ll never ask for anything else as long as I live."
So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.
Anyway at 10:30 the other night
I go out into my yard and there’s the Werzner kid looking up in the tree.
I said, "What are you looking for?"
He said, "I’m looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground!
Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?!"
Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?
Stuart feeding the owls one last time before
shoveling them into the fireplace.
May 18, 2005 at 6:37 pm |
Hold on just one jesasperatin’ second! The queers are doin’ somethin’ to the soil now?
May 19, 2005 at 2:33 pm |
I refer you to the seminal Dead Milkmen release, Beelzebubba. Or one can apparently write to Pueblo, CO for a pamphlet that describes exactly what the queers are doing to the soil.
May 20, 2005 at 9:18 pm |
I have to admit, I like this post. I return to it again and again. I especially like the caption, “Stuart feeding the owls one last time before shoveling them into the fireplace.” To quote Dr. Zoidberg, “there’s nothing about that sentence that I don’t love!” I like that it’s “one last time.” I like that he’s going to use a shovel to move them from their current placement into their new accomodations. And I like that their new location is going to be “the fireplace.” It all just WORKS. Thank you for this.
May 20, 2005 at 9:49 pm |
Not at all. Pleasing you pleases me.