You know what Stuart, I like you.










You know that Johnny Werzner kid-the kid who delivers papers in the neighborhood?
He’s a fine kid.
Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack,
but I don’t believe it.
Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he wanted was a burrow owl.
Kept bugging his old man,
"Dad, get me a burrow owl.  I’ll never ask for anything else as long as I live."
So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.
Anyway at 10:30 the other night
I go out into my yard and there’s the Werzner kid looking up in the tree.
I said, "What are you looking for?"
He said, "I’m looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground!
Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?!"
Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

Stuart feeding the owls one last time before
shoveling them into the fireplace.


4 Responses to “You know what Stuart, I like you.”

  1. sgazzetti Says:

    Hold on just one jesasperatin’ second! The queers are doin’ somethin’ to the soil now?

  2. Sarcastro Says:

    I refer you to the seminal Dead Milkmen release, Beelzebubba. Or one can apparently write to Pueblo, CO for a pamphlet that describes exactly what the queers are doing to the soil.

  3. sgazzetti Says:

    I have to admit, I like this post. I return to it again and again. I especially like the caption, “Stuart feeding the owls one last time before shoveling them into the fireplace.” To quote Dr. Zoidberg, “there’s nothing about that sentence that I don’t love!” I like that it’s “one last time.” I like that he’s going to use a shovel to move them from their current placement into their new accomodations. And I like that their new location is going to be “the fireplace.” It all just WORKS. Thank you for this.

  4. Sarcastro Says:

    Not at all. Pleasing you pleases me.

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