No One Expects the German Inquisition

Why didn’t the Catholic Church come up with this Idea
before?  If you want to remain the fastest growing religion in the
world, you go to your ace-in-the-hole.  Who has more experience in
world domination and conquest in the last 100 years than the
Germans?  No way they were giving it to the French orItalians.  The Muslim horde
would sweep across Europe and open a mosque in St. Peter’s Square
before those surrender monkeys get the reins of power again.  Come
to think of it, that sign of weakness would cause the Muslim horde to sweep through Europe.  But the Germans know how to handle these people.  Anyone saw Raiders of the Lost Ark, knows that you can’t even trust a monkey with the Nazis around.

With all the handicapping
of this particular horse-race, this really wasn’t a surprise.  For
all the talk of a Third World cardinal getting the top spot, you know
damn good and well that wasn’t going to happen.  The Vatican gives
lip service to the theology of the poor as long as it suits their
purpose.  And their main purpose is little brown people breeding
more Catholics as fast as they can crank them out.  But the
Europeans are going to remain the brains of that operation for the near
term. 

All I know about this new Pope is that he served in the German Army back  when it was really fashionable, and that Mass will now be celebrated with ruthless efficiency.